


Extreme Bird-Watching

by Stella_Malodi



Series: Silly Words for the Silly Soul(mate fic) [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awesome Darcy Lewis, Captain America's Patriotic Frisbee, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Kidnapping, SHIP DARCY WITH ALL THE THINGS, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-25 07:39:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4952071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stella_Malodi/pseuds/Stella_Malodi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Or: The Avengers Have Too Many Bird Names)</p>
<hr/>
<p>When Darcy woke up, she found herself locked in a cell, half-blind without her glasses, and wearing a camisole and Captain America boxers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Extreme Bird-Watching

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from Ray: "I was trying to rescue myself, but you had to be all heroey and doing hero things and try to rescue me yourself."
> 
> I meant to actually use those words, but by the time I got there they didn't _exactly_ fit. Close enough, I hope!
> 
> Friendly Reminder: In this Soulmate AU, everyone is born with a tattoo of the first words their Soulmate will say to them. Showing or telling anyone what it says is a big taboo.

Darcy was not prepared for this.

Well, she was more prepared than she would have been a month ago, but a month of training—even training with the Black Widow—was not much.

And it wasn’t like she was getting How To Be A Super-Spy And/Or Escape Artist training. It was more like How Not To Be Useless Now That You Are Surrounded By The Least Useless People Ever Because These Not-Useless People Have Enemies Who Will Target You And It Will Be Better For Everyone Involved (Except For The Enemies) If You Can Rescue Yourself training. She imagined it would eventually cover elaborate escapes from inescapable prisons, but one month in… well, she knew a couple of tricks, and she was a lot better at running. She’d been practicing her screaming, too, but that was purely extra-curricular.

Since the bad guys had broken into her apartment (she was _so_ not looking forward to Nat’s _I-told-you-so_ smirk; she’d been bugging Darcy about moving into Avengers Tower even before she’d started the training) and drugged her before she had a chance to wake up, her running-and-screaming skills had been useless.

Which was how she found herself locked up in a cell, half-blind without her glasses, wearing a camisole and Captain America boxers, trying to think of a way to get herself out of this mess.

Since there weren’t any obvious weaknesses she could see, she would have to wait. They’d have to bring her food, or they might want to take her somewhere to interrogate her or something; she might have a chance to do something then.

Darcy _hated_ waiting.

Luckily, she didn’t have to do much of it. Not long after she woke up, her door swung open. That was probably an opportunity she could have taken advantage of—somehow—but instead she just kind of blinked at the guards who dragged her out of the cell.

She’d meant to be stoic, if she was ever kidnapped, or failing that, sass her kidnappers to within an inch of their lives. Instead, she just kind of… babbled.

“I’ve never been kidnapped before. It’s not as exciting as I thought it would be. I mean, it kind of is, but kind of not, you know? Maybe ‘cause I missed out on the actual kidnapping part. Instead it’s just, like, I went to sleep like normal and woke up in a cell, and hey, now there’s armed dudes walking me somewhere. Probably somewhere with evil dudes. I dunno, I guess I just thought _I’d_ feel different, like my inner-super-spy would come out, or I’d be all scared, but instead I just feel like me, y’know?”

Apparently they didn’t know, but that was okay, because as well as not paying attention to what she was saying, they weren’t really paying attention to _her_ , and _that_ meant it was time to try using her tricks. She might not be able to kill a man with her thighs, but she wasn’t _completely_ helpless, and Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum hadn’t even bothered to cuff her.

She broke their grips on her and threw one into the other just as Nat had drilled into her. And, just as Nat had drilled into her, she dropped to the floor as soon as someone shouted, “Duck!” Good thing, too, because she barely got down in time. She stayed down, partly because, _ow_ , throwing herself on the floor was not a painless thing, but mostly because she didn’t want to get shot and there was definitely shooting going on. A glance behind her revealed a star-spangled man, who she was guessing had a plan to get her out of there.

She was proved correct when, after taking down the Tweedles and retrieving his patriotic frisbee, he offered her a hand up. He dropped it as soon as she was standing, and pushed her—gently—towards a man she recognized as Sam Wilson. His voice was strained when he spoke. “Falcon will take you to Hawkeye. Try not to die before you get there.”

He strode away without another word; she stared after him, jaw hanging open, and he was already out of sight by the time she recovered.

* * *

Once everyone—everyone being Nat, Clint, Tony, Sam Wilson, and Steve Rogers—was on the jet, the Captain laid into her. Rather than try to interrupt, she stayed patiently silent, listened carefully to what he was saying, studied his body language, tried not to get too distracted by his body, and sipped from the water bottle Nat had shoved into her hands.

When, after nearly ten minutes, he began to repeat himself, she stood on her seat and poured the water on his head.

He didn’t try to avoid it, just stood there, back rigid, staring and blinking at her through the water as she waited for the mostly-full bottle to empty. When the last of the water splashed onto his head, she lowered her arm.

“Are you done now?” she asked with all the patience of a parent speaking to a toddler throwing a tantrum. His eyes widened, but he didn’t reply. “Good. I didn’t know you were there; in fact, I didn’t have any idea when a rescue team would get there, and I didn’t know how I’d hold up to an interrogation. I’m not big on the distressed-damsel thing anyway, so I thought it might be a good idea to rescue myself. I just had the bad timing to pull my self-rescue right as you were getting your hero on. Now, please stop yelling at me just because you were scared for me.”

The dripping Avenger abruptly deflated. “I might have _killed_ you.”

“But you didn’t.” She hesitated. He _had_ been looking rather shocked during her lecture, but he hadn’t said anything to confirm her suspicion. She _really_ doubted she’d be getting another bird-themed ‘get out and don’t die,’ but it _was_ possible. She looked at him, and found that he was studying her with the same sort of wary hope that was probably all over her face. She leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “Would I be right in guessing my lecture is a bit more permanent than you might like?”

She leaned back and watched wary hope turn to amazed wonder as he nodded. He lifted a hand and gently touched her face. “What did I…? I don’t remember what I said.”

She smirked, trying to ignore the hand that was now holding her face and the thumb that was tracing its way back and forth across her cheek. “Honestly? Before New York, I thought you were either Air Force or into extreme bird-watching. It was ‘Duck! Falcon will take you to Hawkeye. Try not to die before you get there.’”

A loud guffaw reminded them that they were not alone, which was probably a good thing. Steve was rocking the wet look, staring at her lips, and generally looking like a ridiculously attractive man who wanted to kiss her. Right then, she might have let him, which she tried to convince herself would be a bad thing; she’d always held that being Soulmates did not a relationship make, and that it was better to take things slowly, especially for a relationship you were hoping to make last.

They jumped apart, which was _not_ as good of a thing as the welcome(-ish) interruption, since she was standing on her seat.

Luckily for her, her Soulmate had _awesome_ reflexes and caught her. “My hero,” she said dryly.

He, curse him, smiled an attractive, slightly dopey smile and said, “Yeah, I am. Yours, I mean.”

She blushed, and there was cackling from the peanut gallery.

“Lewis, when you tell this story to your All-American Cheese children,” Tony said, “remember to include the part where you were wearing your Captain America boxers.”

They both, of course, looked down and confirmed that she was indeed wearing her Captain America boxers. “Oh, shut up, Tony,” she and Steve said together.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any words you'd like to (kind of) see, or any ridiculous situations, please, leave them in the comments! I might not get to everything (or might not get to it quickly) but I _will_ try.
> 
> Also: I am horrible at replying to comments [waves awkward flag of awkwardness], but I read and love all of them. So, thank you so much!


End file.
